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Nov 16

How to dump someone

By KerryNo Comments

We have all been dumped at some point and it feels like the end of the world. Here at Matchmeup we have brought to you the top 10 ways that people get dumped and some of them are not very nice……anyway if this ever happens to you then Matchmeup can help you find new love with just a few clicks.

Face to face
Firstly, I should make clear that in a serious relationship, I would always conduct this nasty business in person. And maybe in a casual relationship too, if forced…

Pros: Instant right to reply for the dumpee.
Cons: You are vulnerable to the threat of tears and possible violence.

Ignoring
This very common tactic involves blanking your lover until they work out that it’s over. At first, they will send lots of texts and mails. Eventually, they will give up.

Pros: You never have to officially dump them.
Cons: They will never know for sure why you stopped contacting them; they may even think you are dead.

Text/email
The fastest, simplest and by far most popular method of ending a casual fling is to fire off a carefully-worded message. Almost everyone has received – or dished out – some form of electronic dumping. But killjoys deem it impolite.

Pros: Fits in perfectly with a fast-paced modern lifestyle.
Cons: The victim could receive the message at an unfortunate moment, such as during an important business meeting or while they’re having a really good time at Alton Towers.

Letter
I suppose this was considered the text dumping of its day. But now it seems slightly more classy and respectful. At least you’re paying for a stamp.

Pros: Old-fashioned and somehow romantic. Your jilted lover can keep itforever as a memento of how much of a berk you are.
Cons: You have to pay for a stamp.

Facebook
The ’relationship status’ option on Facebook is the best way of keeping up-to-date with your friends’ love lives… so why not your own too? Just change your status and your newly-dumped ex will receive the news straight to their Wall.

Pros: For you, it’s painless. Just the simple click of a button.
Cons: Your ex will be furious and may retaliate by announcing to Facebook that you have a small willy.

Note
This is similar to the letter but less comprehensive. It could be piece of paper through the letterbox or a Post-it note stuck to their box of Alpen. The key is the brevity.

Pros: Everyone likes receiving little notes, it’s fun.
Cons: You’d have to pick a strategic time to leave the note, otherwise you could get caught and end up in a face-to-face situation.

Via someone else
This only generally happens when you are under the age of 15. It happened to me once in my school lunch break while I was queuing up in Dixy Fried Chicken and it was brutal.

Pros: If they cry, you don’t have to see it.
Cons: Not acceptable behaviour if you are an adult.

In public
At a Birmingham City football match last weekend, a fan proposed to his girlfriend on the pitch. So why not do the opposite and announce to the world your decision to end it? Maybe the announcer could do it when they read out the birthdays. Or you could request a shout-out on your lover’s favourite radio station.

Pros: This could be her 15 seconds of fame.
Cons: Live broadcasting is unpredictable and they may omit your dedication.

Don’t tell them
Tell your friends and family you’ve split up, chat people up in bars, go online dating, stop having sex – essentially, become single. Just don’t tell your partner about it.

Pros: Awkward dumping conversation avoided.
Cons: There’s a high chance they will eventually find out you have stopped going out with them and then bad things will happen.

Phone call
As for me, I opted against all these methods and called her. I semi-rehearsed what I was going to say; my main aim was to avoid clichés such as “it’s not you, it’s me” and not to panic and tell her I was gay. I bumbled through it awkwardly, using the phrase “I really like you but…” more than once (it was true though). And although she went a bit quiet, the conversation ended on fairly amicable terms. I didn’t feel great, but I felt like slightly less of an arsehole than if I’d used the methods above.

Pros: Makes you feel like an adult.
Cons: Scary.

Oct 18

Top 10 Male Habits that are keeping you single

By KerryNo Comments

Being single is great – but only if you want to be. It’s not so much fun when you’re fed up with dinner for one and can’t understand why no-one wants to go out with you. What’s keeping you unattached while everyone else gets loved up? Here are 10 habits that could be to blame.

1. Lechery

It’s fine to think about sex a lot. It’s just about workable to think about sex all the time. But it’s neither fine nor workable to talk about sex all the time. The more that you let those naughty thoughts form themselves into words, the less luck you’re going to have with women.

Just to complicate things, you don’t even have to think or talk about sex to come across as lecherous. You just need to flirt too much. The least attractive men at a party are the ones who flirt with every woman there, in the hope of getting off with one of them. To make a woman fall for you, make her feel like the only woman in the room.

However, do it carefully: paying the wrong kind of compliment can make you sound like a proper sleazebag. “The wrong kind of compliment means” anything unimaginative that’s purely to do with her appearance. If you walk up to a woman you’ve never met before and tell her she’s the most gorgeous creature in the room, you sound like a lech. Tell her she’s got lovely elbows, and you’ve scored. I know, life is weird and unfair.

By the way, your fart jokes are the opposite of sexy. Just so you know.

2. Signal blindness

If a woman is giving you the right signals, she assumes that you’re reading loud and clear. If you dither, you’ve lost her. When a woman you’ve never met before asks if you’d like a drink, she is actually saying: “I’m looking for a man-sized hot water bottle, and I wondered if you’d volunteer?” Do NOT lose your opportunity.

Brush up your body language fluency, too. If she meets your eye for a heartbeat longer than necessary, she’s telling you that she’s interested – and if you don’t send back a corresponding signal, she’ll assume that you don’t want to know. So get out there and meet a woman’s eye for a second or two. If you look away, look back and catch her looking again, you’re in.

3. Shallowness

Are you the kind of man who notices when a woman has gained five pounds over Christmas, and is put off by a solitary jawbone zit? Get over yourself. No wonder you haven’t got a girlfriend, you shallow toad.

4. Commitment-phobia

You are a cliché made flesh, and you are a man made of a thousand bad excuses. So you don’t want to get into a relationship because you’re scared of getting hurt. You don’t want to get married because your parents had a nasty divorce. You don’t want to move in together because the magic will be gone.

Look, we all have those fears – women as well as men. But you can’t cling onto them and then go round moaning that you’re still single. If you want a relationship, be a man and eat your fears.

5. Desperation

Giving a woman your attention will pay dividends, but don’t invade her personal space. If a woman you’re talking to turns to talk to her friend, or goes off to the loo or the bar without saying “I’ll be back,” she’s trying to shake you off. Do not, for the love of God, wait for her outside the loo.

Ringing her on the way home from your first date is a way of invading her personal space with your voice alone. Creepy.

6. Slobbiness

Clothes maketh the man. What you’re wearing reveals a lot about you to the women in the room, such as whether you can operate a washing machine.

Being able to read a clock is another handy skill. It’s fine to run five minutes late for a date, as long as you text to let her know. It’s almost more polite than being on time, because it gives her a chance to catch her breath. However, turning up 10 or more minutes late without explanation makes you look rude before you’ve even uttered a word. You’re strangling all your relationships at birth.

7. Bragging

No woman will be impressed if you brag about your job, your travels or whatever. The way to impress a woman is to let her brag about herself, and to be fascinated.

8. Pack hunting

Men who go sharking with their mates are men who come home again with their mates, only drunker. If you want to come home with a woman, you need to hunt alone.

On a similar note, when you’re dating a woman, don’t take her on a date to the place where you’re likely to be accosted by friends who are shouting and smelling of beer.

9. Mobile phone addiction

Answering your mobile is one of the rudest things you can do on a first date. Your companion will sit there feeling less and less important with every word you bark into your phone. Switch the thing off when you arrive.

10. Kisslexia

You may be achingly gorgeous and possessed of brilliant conversational wit, but if you’re a bad kisser you won’t be attractive to women. Slobbering over her face, licking her chin, sucking her lips, deep-throating with your tongue… women hate being kissed this way, and most men over the age of 13 know this. Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to go and think about something less icky.

Oct 10

Top 10 Female habits that keep you single.

By KerryNo Comments
Women, 10 habits that are keeping you single

Being single is great – but only if you want to be. It’s not so much fun when you’re fed up with dinner for one and can’t understand why no-one wants to go out with you. What’s keeping you unattached while everyone else gets loved up? Here are 10 habits that could be to blame.

1. First-move phobia

Being born male does not gift men with unassailable self-confidence. Men know that they’re supposed to do the running, and they hate it. If you want a date, go and chat him up. He’ll be too delighted to say anything other than “wow, yes!”

By the way, making eye contact with a guy is not the same as “making a move.” Eye contact, no matter how flirtatious you think it is, won’t get you very far unless you accompany it with “hello.”

2. Playing hard to get

If you want a man to be interested in you, be interested in him. It works, because all human beings are egomaniacs at heart. Treating ‘em mean only makes ‘em go and find someone else.

You know when someone’s trying to ask you out, so don’t come over all coy in the misguided belief that it’ll make you more alluring. If a handsome stranger asks, “are you all right for a drink?”, he is interested. Don’t just nod, blush, and run away expecting him to follow you. If you find him attractive, accept his offer and strike up a conversation.

When you’ve been on a date, don’t be scared to pick up the phone. Whoever told you to wait for three days (or whatever random number of days) before returning a phone call is an idiot. No man wants a stalker, but letting him know you’re interested is the way to win his heart.

3. Romantic perfectionism

If you wait around for love at first sight, you may be waiting for a very long time. Lust at first sight happens all the time, but it ain’t love until you’ve shared a bathroom. Don’t wait around for that thunderbolt of first-glance love, because you’ll be waiting – and single – for a very long time indeed.

If you have a very narrow idea of your “ideal man”, you may never find someone who lives up to your fantasy. Here’s a revolutionary idea: try a man who’s completely different from your ideal. You may end up surprised – and a lot less single.

4. Appearance insecurity

Don’t ruin your social life by cancelling plans every time you get a zit that no man will ever notice because he’s too busy looking at your breasts or (if he was brought up very well, your eyes). Avoid wearing too much make-up, too. The natural look is much more appealing to men than a trowelling of slap. Too much facepaint makes you look desperate, and that’s never a good look when you’re trying to impress.

Similarly, don’t let your waistline fixation spoil a romantic meal. A tasty dessert shared with your date could seal the deal on your evening, and it’s unlikely to make a difference to your weight unless you have a date every night this week.

5. Bad man-choices

Fear of being single often drives you to accept dates – and more dates – with men you don’t really fancy. Trouble is, while you’re wasting precious time with Mr OK-I-Suppose, you could be out finding Mr Right.

Or do you head straight past Mr OK-I-Suppose and hand your precious breakable heart to Mr Toxic? He comes in many guises: the serial online dating addict who never takes his profile down; the self-esteem leech who can’t stop criticising; the rebounder who uses you as a cushion after his break-up… they grab women’s hearts, take them on a romantic rollercoaster ride for a few weeks, then smash those hearts to pieces. One minute you’re dizzy with lust, the next you’re devastated. And very, very single.

6. Low tiff tolerance

Do you run away from a relationship as soon as the going gets slightly shouty? While we’d never advocate hanging onto an unhappy relationship, do remember that no relationship can be perfectly happy all the time. Boyfriends are not perfect, relationships are not perfect, and the road to happiness is strewn with ups and downs.

7. Ex-talk

No really, do not mention your ex on a date. Perhaps you were with him for years and he plays a walk-on part in all your anecdotes, but you must break the ex-namecheck habit if you’re to impress a potential lover. Even a passing mention of your previous man suggests that you haven’t moved on.

8. Sofa-hugging

The guy you’re hoping to meet doesn’t live under your sideboard, so if you want a relationship you’re going to have to get out and start meeting people. Maybe you’re constantly tired or ridiculously busy at work, but if you want a relationship, you need to make time for a social life.

9. Desperation

Men can smell your desperation from half a mile away. If you feel the need to ring him up on your way home from your first date, it had better be to answer his missed call.

10. Relationship resistance

Are you happy, fulfilled and busy with your work, home and friends? Do you find that the occasional fling satisfies your need for lust and male attention? Congratulations, you have a great life – now stop reading articles about why you’re still single! Not everyone is cut out to be one half of a couple, and a relationship is not a compulsory element of a happy life. If you keep dipping a toe into dating but never quite feel comfortable with it, perhaps you’re better off single after all.

Sep 23

What Our Female Members Really Want.

By KerryNo Comments

While we were asking our females what they like to see on MatchMeUp, we also found out what sort of messages they like to receive, what turns them on and what turns them off. Now’s the time to really pay attention and make sure you’re doing all you can to satisfy our MatchMeUp women…

What kind of private messages do our girls prefer to receive?

50% want “humour, intelligence and personality”

19% like a man to “show an interest” in them

10% enjoy “naughty x-rated fantasies”

9% like “offers” to take them out

7% said “indecent proposals”

5% want “romance”

What’s their biggest turn off?

35%  say a man thinking with his manhood instead of his brain

33% say receiving phone numbers/men demanding my phone number straight away in a first message

10% say a man who boasts about the number of women he’s slept with

10% say getting my name wrong in a message or not using it at all

7% say a man who boasts about the size of his manhood

5% say receiving long life stories in a first message

What makes them more likely to meet up with someone?

70% said “if the man lives nearby”

21% prefer “lots of photos”

9% like “video profiles”

And where do they most like to meet up?

48% = “Bar/pub”

17% = “Coffee shop”

10% = “His place”

10% = “My place”

6% = “Hotel”

5% = “Restaurant”

4% = “The great outdoors”

In conclusion…

If you want to get a woman’s attention on MatchMeUp, make sure you don’t come across too forceful. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance! If she wants to give you her phone number, she will. Pestering her for it won’t get you anywhere!

Our MatchMeUp girls don’t want to travel to the other end of the country for some first date, regardless of how good you claim it will be. If you find a great female who lives miles away, be prepared to travel to her and don’t take offence if she doesn’t reply at all – there are plenty of ladies close to you that will!

Finally, when it comes to actually meeting up with one of our sexy women from MatchMeUp, it would seem that a bar or pub is the favoured location. You can have a drink, calm those nerves (if there are any!), and see if the chemistry’s there then carry on the fun somewhere more private if so desired.

Remember these tips and have fun!

The MatchMeUp Team

Sep 12

Signs that your relationship is over

By KerryNo Comments

Relationships, like hot summers, often look better from a distance. Just as you forget how draining a muggy day can feel, you also forget how soul-destroying and lonely a relationship can feel when it’s not going well.

“So just end it,” right? It’s never as simple as that. Most of us have experienced that dilemma of not knowing whether to walk away from a relationship. You think that you’re being too picky, you worry that no-one else will love you this much, you don’t want to hurt someone you care about, you fear regretting it and not being able to win them back. You’ve stayed in relationships for those reasons, right? Yep, so have we.

But these alone aren’t good enough reasons to stay in a relationship that isn’t working. Ending a relationship can be heartbreaking, even if you’re dying to get away. The blissful future that you’d imagined when you first got together is now not going to happen. Thing is, is you’re unhappy, that blissful future wasn’t going to happen anyway.

If you’re experiencing a few of these 20 signs regularly, it may be time to move on. It will be difficult, but ultimately it’ll be the right thing for you both. Life is too short (and your partner’s life is too short) to waste valuable years on a pairing that’s going nowhere.

1. You’re always craving time alone

It’d be weird and needy to want your partner by your side every minute of every day. It’s normal to look forward to some time alone. But if you’re craving me-time and wish that he or she wasn’t around, it’s clear that your relationship is giving you more frustration than joy.

2. You don’t go out together any more

Even if you’re living together, you should never stop going on dates together. A successful relationship is based on more than sex and silently watching the telly together.

3. You prefer seeing your friends to seeing your partner

A good relationship involves socialising with and without your other half. Not wishing that you lived with your housemates again rather than your lover.

4. You’ve stopped having sex

Sex drive can dip for many reasons, including stress or medication. But if you just stop fancying your partner, and sex becomes a chore or stops altogether, listen to your alarm bells.

5. You’ve stopped touching each other

Touching isn’t just about sex, it’s about affection and togetherness. Casual touching, hugging and holding hands are the signs of a healthy relationship with two people who still fancy each other. If you flinch when he or she brushes against you, it really is time to get out.

6. You’ve stopped kissing

Passionate kissing is emotionally more intimate than sex, so it’s often the first thing to go when two people start drifting apart. If you want to kiss each other but just haven’t got round to it for a while, pucker up. If you don’t enjoy it, see above.

7. They no longer make you laugh

Their witty lines once made tea came out of your nose. These days you just wish they’d shut up. Why are you still with them, pray tell?

8. You don’t chat

Chatting – about trivia, what’s in the news or what happened at work – is the bedrock of a good relationship. When you stop talking to each other about the little things, it’s a sign that you don’t see each other as friends any more.

9. You’re always nit-picking

If you’re constantly bothered by their coffee-slurping, their taste in pants and everything they do, you’re not in love, you’re in a constant state of “argh”. That’s not trivial: it’s the kind of everyday stress that can damage your health.

10. They’re always nit-picking

If your partner seems constantly irritated by you, it suggests that they’re not happy or even comfortable around you. They may be wanting out, but haven’t the courage to bring up the subject. If he or she makes you feel that you can’t do anything right, do you really want to be around this person?

11. You do all the chores

Every long-term couple has disagreements about housework and other chores, but the squabbles usually end in vague equality or compromise. If your partner treats you like a doormat, show them the door.

12. You don’t care about your appearance

Love doesn’t mean letting yourself go. If you no longer care about whether he or she fancies you or not, it spells trouble for your sex life – and your relationship.

13. Red letter days are forgotten

Anniversaries, Valentine’s Day and so on may seem trivial, but a loving couple will acknowledge them in some way, even if it’s with a scribbled note saying “V-Day is rubbish, let’s spend it in bed.” Once you forget each other’s birthdays, your relationship is so far past its sell-by date that even a dog wouldn’t eat it.

14. You’re doing all the giving (or all the getting)

Most relationships go through stages where one person is more emotionally and sexually generous than the other, but the imbalance should not be more or less permanent. Parasites don’t make good partners.

15. You’ve stopped liking yourself

A lover is not supposed to make you feel unloved, unattractive and unable to be yourself. If yours does, get out and stop letting them sap your spirit.

16. Your friends think they’re bad for you

Your friends know you best, and they’ll say what they think if it’s for your benefit. If they think your partner is no good, listen. They’ll be there for you when he or she isn’t.

17. You compare them with other men or women

It’s natural to find other people attractive, but not to compare your lover unfavourably with every person who catches your eye.

18. You look up your exes

It’s fine to be friends with exes, and it shows maturity. But if you seek out and flirt with an ex, then you arrange to meet up with them, and find yourself wondering “what if…?”, your current relationship is doomed.

19. You wish they’d change

Once the rose-tinted early months have passed, mismatched personalities become more obvious. You can’t change your partner into someone better suited to you. Instead, find someone who’s already your perfect match.

20. You say “I love you” but don’t mean it

Do you feel a little knot of guilt whenever you say it, as though you’re lying? Do you only say it to make them shut up and go away? Then stop saying it, and start spending more time with someone you really love – starting with yourself.

Sep 11

How to know when your in love

By KerryNo Comments

So you’ve met someone new, and you’ve fallen head over hook, line and sinker for them. You can’t finish “hello” before ripping their clothes off. Your cheeks are so pink they’re visible from space.

It must be love! Or is it? If you recognise more than a few of these signs, chances are it’s the real thing – and you may just be in it for the long haul.

1. You chuck out your old relationship souvenirs

For years, you hoarded ticket stubs from concerts and days out with your ex. Then you fall in love, and suddenly all these souvenirs are just tat that’s cluttering up your space. So, if nothing else, falling in love makes you more tidy.

2. Your ex announces their engagement, and you don’t care

What’s more, you fail to understand what you ever saw in them. And as for sleeping with them… what were you thinking?

3. You’re no longer shy around your former crush

You used to be a quivering wreck when your office’s payroll assistant entered the room. These days, you barely notice them.

When you’re in love, your partner becomes infinitely more attractive than any other person on the planet. Yes, even Cheryl Cole.

4. You aren’t put off by physical imperfections

Lust is far more fragile than love. Here’s an example. If your lust-object arrives for a date with a big green crusty lump sticking out of their nose, your attraction will disappear in an instant.

But if you’re falling in love, you won’t be put off. You’ll feel protective. You’ll rub your nose and hope that they mirror you… and hey presto, problem solved. Ain’t love grand?

5. You show them where you grew up

It may seem an odd choice of weekend adventure, but love means wanting to show them where you’re from. “That’s my old school, that’s where I had my paper round, that’s where I puked up my dad’s home-brew…”

6.  You tell them your plans – big and small

Whether it’s babbling about your world-travel dreams or asking them to help make the shopping list, you include your lover in your plans because they’re part of your life.

7. You wonder where “we” should go on holiday

Even if it means compromising your idea of the perfect holiday or putting up with their mum’s brussels sprouts.

8. You’re thrilled by a joint invite to a family wedding

Partly because you’re happy that family and friends treat you two as a unit. And partly because you want your wingman beside you when the boredom sets in at 10pm in the church hall.

9. You show them off

When you’re falling for someone, you want to include them in your social life and show them off to your friends. However…

10. You’re happy doing nothing together

Ultimately it’s not about being a couple on a social stage, but just about being two people together. Just going for a walk together sounds like the perfect afternoon.

11. You join their photography class

You want to know what make your lover tick – and you want them to see that you’re showing an interest.

12. You ring them to moan about work

When they’re the first person you want to talk to about what a class-A berk the boss is today, it’s because you think they’re a keeper. (Your lover, not the boss.)

13. You take their kids out for lunch

If your other half has children from a previous partner, your relationship with the kids is a barometer of your future as a couple. And if you’re in love, you’ll try your hardest to get along with them.

Try not to let it stress you out. If you and the kids can be relaxed in each other’s company, you’re onto a long-term winner.

14. You aren’t afraid to argue

Couples don’t agree all the time. If you’re in lust, you don’t care about standing up for yourself – it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

But when you’re in love, you want to put your point across. Speaking up shows that you’re secure enough to question what your lover says or does.

However…

15. You feel terrible when you argue

You wouldn’t be half as upset about a row with anyone else. Here’s why…

16. You care more about their happiness than your own

You feel bad when your other half isn’t happy, so arguments are a double whammy of emotional trauma.

On the bright side, it shows that you’re really in love. You’re no longer looking after number one all the time. Instead, you want your partner to be OK.

17. You don’t mind saving if you’re usually a spend-thrift

Our money habits are deeply entrenched, but love motivates you to make an exception.

For example, if you’ve spent your adult life being unwilling to save up for anything dearer than a haircut, love could suddenly make you want to save a deposit on a flat.

Likewise…

18. You don’t mind splashing out if you’re usually frugal

If you’re suddenly willing to splash out on a luxury holiday together, it shows how important they are to you.

But it’s not about changing the real you. If you’re usually more comfortable being a saver, love won’t change that. It just means you’re less rigid about it. Which brings us to…

19. You risk being yourself

Of all the love-signs on this list, this is the big cheese.

When you’re infatuated or in lust with someone, you edit yourself to fit what you think they want. You might dress to suit them, or hide the fact that you don’t have much in common with their friends.

But when you’re in love with someone, you want your other half to know and like the person you really are.

It’s a risk, of course. Certain incompatibilities may come to the fore. But you know that you can’t be happy for long if you’re faking it.

This isn’t an excuse to be stubborn or tactless. “Being yourself” does not mean sticking rigidly to habits, or telling your lover that their CD collection is crap. A bit of flexibility works wonders.

Aug 25

How To Say I Love You Without Saying A Word.

By KerryNo Comments

There are actually several ways to say I love you even with the absence of words. Remember that action speaks louder than words. Words may not be enough to show someone you love him or her.

1. Let go of your past

One way to say I love you even with the absence of words is to let go of your past. When you completely let go of your past, you are actually telling him how much you love him or her. When you are tied up with your past, you are just giving him or her doubtful thoughts regarding your true feelings. When the person you love learns and feels you have completely forgotten your past, you are actually telling him or her I love you.

2. No comparisons

Another way to say I love you even with the absence of words is to never have comparisons. Do not compare him or her to anybody; especially with your ex. Always make him or her feel that she is special and a unique individual, and that you love him or her for who she is. When you make that person feel that he or she is incomparable, you are actually silently telling him or her I love you.

3. Accept flaws and weaknesses

This is one of the best ways to say I love you even with the absence of words. You do not actually demand for a person to change if you love him or her. You accept the person for who she or he is, and cover up the weaknesses. This is one of the greatest ways to say I love you. Saying I love you may not be enough.

Consider these three ways and let that someone feel how much you love them!

Aug 16

Ground Zero Mosque.

By KerryNo Comments

Was President Obama’s support for the right to build the “Ground Zero mosque” in New York really out of step with America as his opponents would say – or a reflection of the ambiguity many of its citizens feel about this divisive, but nuanced issue?

When Mr Obama waded into the political debate over the proposed Islamic community centre and mosque in lower Manhattan on Friday, many Republican strategists rejoiced.

In the lead up to hotly contested congressional elections in November, the comments seemed like a gift – Mr Obama handing opponents cannon fodder with which to blast Democrats.

Democratic hopes in the mid-term elections are perhaps best served by keeping to local issues, diverting attention away from a bleak national economy, unpopular wars and a president with dragging approval ratings.

Yet the Ground Zero mosque debate transcends local politics. It’s highly-charged, invoking emotional ideas of American identity and religious respect through the prism of the most defining and traumatizing incident in the nation’s recent history.

For months it simmered on the edges of the national political scene, a tantalizing wedge issue for conservatives even as key Democrats skirted the discussion.

But now, Mr Obama’s comments have firmly transformed this local New York squabble into a billowing national debate.

He told guests at a Friday dinner honouring the Islamic holy month of Ramadan that America’s commitment to religious freedom must be “unshakeable”, and that Muslims in America have every right to practice their faith.

“That includes the right to build a place of worship and a community centre on private property in lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances,” Mr Obama said.

The following day, Mr Obama clarified those comments, saying that his remarks referred only to the right of Muslims to build their centre, not the wisdom of choosing a site so close to Ground Zero.

To hear conservatives tell it, Mr Obama had just undermined the electoral chances of vulnerable Democrats, granting Republicans a legitimate way to push opponents to take a stand on this thorny and divisive issue.

But whether Mr Obama’s comments are really out of step with views of the American public depends which poll you believe.

Rights v tastes

This poll from CNN suggests that they are: 68% of respondents state opposition to the Ground Zero mosque.

A Marist poll of voters in New York City found 53% opposed the mosque. Only 34% thought it would facilitate cultural understanding while half thought it was offensive.

But neither poll questions voters on the direct substance of Mr Obama’s remarks: the right of the Islamic community to build the mosque. That right is enshrined in the US constitution.

It’s an important nuance in the debate, and one that simple “yes or no” polls often fail to capture. Americans can both support the right to build a mosque at the same time that they oppose the building of this particular mosque so close to a delicate site.

It’s not necessarily inconsistent to be bothered by the presence of a mosque near the site of a devastating attack by jihadists, but still defend the universal right of the faithful to practice their religion without restrictions or interference from the government.

A recent poll by Fox News draws out that distinction. It asked respondents first if they believed that the Ground Zero mosque was appropriate. An overwhelming 64% replied that it was not.

The follow-up question asked if the Muslim group had the right to build the mosque, to which a similarly large proportion – 61% – responded that yes, they do.

Clearly there is an overlap between Americans who support the right to build the mosque but maintain a belief that it’s a poor decision to do so.

That’s the same ground Mr Obama straddled with his comments last weekend.

But whether the public heard the nuance in the communicator-in-chief’s remarks – or whether his comments will be lost in frenzy of cable chatter over their supposed political toxicity – may not be clear until November.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you think this should go ahead , or do you think it should be built elsewhere?

Source: BBC news.

Aug 16

Big Brother : John James “Josie, I’m In Love With You”

By KerryNo Comments

Big Brother’s final romance seems to be one built to last if Josie’s shock confession to Corin is anything to go by… apparently the Aussie has told his farmer Mrs that he is in love with her.

Corin & Josie were having a fag in the BB garden when Josie told her perma-tanned mate; “He went ‘I’m so in love with you’ and he said ‘I’m going to move from Australia to be with you.’”

Josie confided: “I haven’t had anyone that has loved me before, like that. Well, if he means it.” To which a confused Corin questioned: “Why would he say it if he didn’t?

Self-conscious Josie said she didn’t know and revealed more about the romantic exchange: “I said ‘do you think that you will still feel the same when you get outside?’ And he said ‘yeah’ and I said ‘so do I’.”

I think John James is just playing games what do you all think?

Aug 06

British Government Donates £5m to Pakistan Flood Victims

By Kerry2 Comments

THE British Government pledged £5 million today to help hundreds of thousands of those left homeless by Pakistan’s flood disaster.

International Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell said at least 800,000 people would benefit from the new UK aid, which will go towards providing safe drinking water, hygiene kits and toilets.

Up to 1,200 people have died and two million have fled their homes since heavy monsoon rains caused floods across huge swathes of north-west Pakistan.

The British aid, which is being channelled through the United Nations Children’s Fund (Unicef), will buy about 136,000 hygiene kits, 4,560 toilets, 336,000 bars of sanitising soap, 270,000 buckets or jerry cans, 400,000 water purification kits and 800,000 water purification tablets.

The UK’s Department for International Development has already contributed another £5 million to the UN-run Pakistan Emergency Response Fund.

This will pay for food, shelter, water, sanitation and healthcare for thousands of people affected by the floods.

Mr Mitchell said: “I know many British people are deeply concerned by the terrible suffering caused by the ongoing monsoon floods in Pakistan.

“The government of Pakistan is leading the relief efforts, and the UK is ready to help in any way we can.

“The UK’s contribution to the emergency relief effort will help limit disease and further deaths by helping provide safe drinking water, food, toilets, medical care, and other essential items to at least 800,000 people in Pakistan affected by the monsoon floods.”

What are your thoughts on this? I have been reading through many blogs and comments left on news sites and it seems the nation is split. Should we be offering help to countries that need it or should the money be put towards much needed services etc in the UK?

Source of information: Dailyrecord.co.uk

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